Let's Be Real

조화

Let's be honest about something.  This is a blog about my REAL life.  This isn't a motivational blog that is intended to deceive everyone by holding back my true feelings and emotions.  Waiting for any child is no fun.  Waiting for a child that is half way around the world is really difficult.  Waiting for my child while the Korean government twiddles it's thumbs sucks!  I don't really know WHAT the Korean government is doing, but I don't understand why it has taken five weeks (and counting) to approve an emigration permit.  These children are not pieces of paper or numbers.  They are little humans that, although they don't know it, are waiting to be united with their family.  I understand the process is basically the same for everyone, but it doesn't make it OK.  Or efficient! 

So, as you can tell, I'm struggling.  I knew this would be the most difficult part of the wait, but EP's were being approved anywhere from 10 days to 2 or 3 weeks earlier in the year so I know it can be done.  Anyway....last week the wait started to get to me and this week I'm in full blown on edge, can't sleep, eat everything in sight, sad, depressed, angry, cranky mode.  I know this and I'm trying to deal. 

Last night I knew I just needed some Bible time.  I got ready for bed, grabbed my bible, and started thumbing through the concordance looking for a word I was feeling (bad) or a word that I wanted to feel (good). 

PEACE(FUL)

calm repose; eternal rest (after death); free of strife or discord; harmony

in personal relationship, especially with God

Uh, yeah.  I could definitely use some peace in my life.  Now, which verse should I look up?  There were probably 30 or 40 listed but I decided to check out

"May grace and p be yours. . . Rom 1:7"

Love the word grace.  Add it to peace.  Perfect.  So, I turned over to Romans 1:7 and this is what it said

"......May grace and peace be yours from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."

Wonderful!  But I decided to read on and this is where it got good.  The title to the next few verses was "God's Good News."

"Let me say first of all that your faith in God is becoming known throughout the world.  How I thank God through Jesus Christ for each one of you.  God knows how often I pray for you.  Day and night I bring you and your needs in prayer to God, whom I serve with all my heart by telling others the Good News about his Son."

WOW!  I keep reading.

"One of the things I always pray for is the opportunity, God willing, to come at last to see you.  For I long to visit you so I can share a spiritual blessing with you that will help you grow strong in the Lord.  I'm eager to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.  In this way, each of us will be a blessing to the other."

I have TWO children now that I must share the Lord with.  It's my responsibility to help them grow strong in the Lord and to encourage them in their faith.  I have to quit being angry and whiny and prepare myself for this added responsibility that is my son.

Waiting still sucks, but at least now I know why I'm waiting.