Here are some topics running through my head...
I'm really, REALLY sad that Kinley isn't going to be an only child anymore. This really doesn't make sense considering how badly we want to add to our family and how excited we are to bring Griffin home. But I think most moms get what I'm dealing with emotionally right now. For over two and a half years we have lived and breathed Kinley and only Kinley. I always tell her she's my best friend, and we do almost everything together. Those of you that personally know our family and Kinley, you know that Kinley has, from the beginning, been an extremely easy baby/toddler. I didn't deal with colic or any spit up. She only cried when she was hungry and that was only when she was a newborn. She has always listened really well and likes to please. She has been a dream child. I always say I deserved an easy child given how difficult it was for us to conceive. Honestly, I believe every mother deserves an easy baby but some of us just get lucky. This leads us to my second topic...
I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS WITH TWO! We were getting ready for church yesterday morning, and as I was chasing a half dressed Kinley all I could think was "How am I going to get us to church on time with two kids?" That's all I really have to say about this topic. I'm basically numb with fear.
Third topic! And most frustrating. When is Griffin going to be scheduled for his VP?! This one is driving me batty. Seriously, what's the hold up? EP was approved 2 1/2 weeks ago and he's had his VI, so what's the dealy-o? Again, not much to say on this topic. I'm just ready to go get my son.
Random, unimportant topic. I'm felling really good about our packing situation. I was very concerned for a while that we were not going to have enough room for everything, but we purchased two BIG suitcases and I've packed gifts and donations and we're looking good! I'm feeling quite confident now! =)
Relating to your thoughts more than you know, waiting mama! Hang in there -- good things are coming your way soon, I can feel it!
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice to hear that someone else is feeling the same anxiety and dare I say, sadness, over this extremely joyful occasion. I feel ya. I just have to keep reminding myself that God really led us here and He will give me all I need to succeed and be so overjoyed with 2 kids.
ReplyDeleteApril - I SO GET HOW YOU FEEL!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you remember my post about Charlie grieving, and how I 'grieved' as well... but for Claire. In the beginning, I felt like I RUINED her life. Not even kidding. I started seeing a 'side' of her that I'd never seen (and it wasn't positive) and I felt that it was all my fault. But then I had to remember that having a sibling is a good thing - no, it's a GREAT thing! Slowly but surely, things will change. And it will all feel 'right', but be prepared for you to feel bad, and sad, and horrible. It's just part of the process. But the good news, is that it DOES GET BETTER!
As for doing it with two... again, you'll figure it out! My biggest piece of advice would be to NOT HAVE ANY EXPECTATIONS for at least 6 months. Okay, so maybe more like 3. Don't worry about Church, Nursery, whatever. It really is such a short time, and you'll find your stride, and then you'll forget what life was even like with just one! (okay, so maybe not, but it won't seem as hard - LOL).
When Charlie first came home, it was SO HARD for me to even do meals. Charlie would freak out if he didn't have a ton of food in front of him, and then when he was done, he wanted OUT of his chair and would scream. So between getting food for Claire and feeding Charlie, I never got to eat. I was SO stressed because meals became SO chaotic. But then I figured out my routine: I dump a huge pile of Cheerio's on Charlie's tray, then I quickly make Claire's Chocolate milk (she has to drink a high calorie drink in the morning), then I make Charlie's oatmeal, fix my yogurt and fruit, and then feed Charlie the oatmeal, give him a banana, and then wolf down my food. It's a fast paced meal, but it works. :) You'll find your routine too - for everything. I promise!
Something I would suggest, is to sit with Kinley and go through EVER SINGLE TOY she has. Pull out the ones that are her 'special toys' and have a special place for them. Then pick out the toys that are JUST Griffins, and then the ones that are for them to share. Really talk about it. Claire was a bit older than Kinley, but it freaked her out that Charlie got into all her stuff. And of course we didn't do the above suggestion with her before Charlie came. I always thought Claire was good at sharing, but Charlie really brought out her 'possessive' side. That might help with the transition of toys (or maybe you won't even have any problems!)
Sorry that I'm writing so much. But I just want to encourage you that it won't be bad - or it won't be for long! LOL If you need ANYTHING, or just want to vent, or whatever, let me know! It's totally doable, and trust me, I'm not one of those Moms who are all domestic and have their act together. So if I can do it - I KNOW you can too!!! ;)