Let me just start by saying today was not a good day. Lots of expectations were not met. Every Monday since the new year there have been a batch of EPs submitted. Well, not today. And we are so close. Korea is about half way through the October referrals and we're a November referral. Maybe I'm being a little optimistic, but I thought there was a chance that we would be in the next batch or two. So I was cautiously optimistic that there would be a batch of EPs submitted today. I really didn't think that we would be in the next batch but the more EPs submitted, the closer we are to having OURS submitted. So when I saw no exciting "EP Submitted!!!" posts on the Holt forum I was pretty bummed. My frustration was exacerbated by my lack of sleep recently. I CAN NOT TURN MY BRAIN OFF AT NIGHT. Can not do it. I'm thinking of time lines, well baby checks, packing lists, tourist spots, shopping lists, gifts, nursery details, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda! When I'm stressed I don't sleep. When I don't sleep my back and neck hurt. When my back and neck hurt I get migraines. When I get migraines I can't function. When I can't function I'm not a good mom. When I'm not a good mom I feel guilty.
I would just like to stop here and say
I know I'm being whiny.
I really try to stay positive because we've had a short, smooth
process and I appreciate that.
But sometimes I just can not handle the fact that my son is
NOT HOME!
WITH US!
WHERE HE SHOULD BE!
So, at this point I am considering talking to my doctor about some prescription sleep aids because I know this is not going to get better. We are in the most difficult part of the wait and it's only going to get more difficult from here. If I could just sleep I think I would have a more sunshiny outlook. At least I could try.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I will be praying for lots of exciting news
for myself and all my new AP friends.
Sweet Friend...I feel the same way. I take Tylenol P.M., but only one! Two makes me have bad dreams, but one helps me to turn it all off and rest. I know, I too, have been watching the BB for EP news...we are close! I trust that God has the plan! We must be patient in our wait...there really is nothing we can do but pray for our sons health and safety~ Thinking of you~
ReplyDeleteI can totally understand where you are at. I was the same way a short 10 days ago. Hang in there you need to be able to sleep before you get your travel call! I used Benadryl myself;) we all need to do what we have to do.
ReplyDeleteYep, know alllll about it, unfortunately. This is the hardest wait, I've ever had to wait for. My brain will just shut down after the tension and all get to be too much. It's my defense mechanism I've learned. April, hugs to you dear. All I can say is we've all experienced the same at one point or another, nothing can really make it easier except another taste of progress, and that's short lived. So do whatever it is, that'll get you through the day AND night! Don't let the guilt get you down. We moms are under an enormous amount of stress with this because we're the ones who take on all the "responsibility", thinking things through, etc. Hang in there April! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way! When I can't sleep I get migraines really easily... and then I end up being a really bad mommy to my precious 2 year old. :(
ReplyDeleteHang in there, mama! Maybe a light sleep aid would be good. Some people use benadryl over the counter to help them sleep? Maybe some booze? ;)
I'm right there with you too, no sleep. I 2nd a benadryl. Tylenol PM is Tylenol + Benadryl, so if you are having aches and pains and no sleep go for it.
ReplyDeleteI have found for my migraines good ole aspirin works the BEST (next to sleep that is).
Chin up! You'll make it.
Sorry me again. Don't take the aspirin when you take the other meds. Sorry, I didn't make that clear. Two totally different thoughts. I'm tired and I should be in bed sleeping.
ReplyDelete